i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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