I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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