I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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