I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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