You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
