WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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