how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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