it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
