just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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