Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize