I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
