Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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