wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
