Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
