Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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