And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
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We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
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There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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