Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
