I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
