Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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