i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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