Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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