Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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