apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
