I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
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I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
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I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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