a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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