i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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