whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
