quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
high people should be assigned attendants
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
