Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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