That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
