I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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