; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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