almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
