physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
