A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I didn't notice because vodka
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
