Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
