he thought i was a dude.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
