My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
