I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
