you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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