dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
