She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
