recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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