i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
