Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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