Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
