youre lurking in front of me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
