I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
