Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize