the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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