It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
