just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Mom said you looked used
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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