I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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