I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
