just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
