when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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