How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
