the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
