We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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