if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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