is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
